Meeting

Went to the meeting this morning...Found out that it was with one of the psychiatrists...Her speciality is special needs children and she was really nice...Makes a change if it's someone you feel you can talk to and someone you feel understands what you are talking about...For those who are newish to my journal i started it back in february this year because i was frustrated and fed up...I was beginning to be at my wits end trying to get much needed help at the time...Todays meeting was a consquence of that time..Bit late but never mind.

To cut a long story short for the newer readers as my blurb about me says both my sons are on the autistic spectrum...M the youngest of the 2 has a bit of a temper on him...Well i say bit which is an understatement...He can be extremely aggresive and absolute hell to live with at times...At the beginning of the year he was exploding all the time and i couldn't pinpoint a trigger...I pleaded for help from the school doctor but she was useless...Eventually i saw red after one particular incident and went to see my own GP in tears...Result was he was still turned down to be seen again by child psychology and basically the woman we had seen called me a bad mother :o(  My won GP was not exactly happy as he had actually refered him to child psychiatry...So GP refered him again and the school doctor eventually spoke to someone in psychiatry...Today i finally got to meet the child psychiatrist.

She was really nice and really put me at ease...If i get bad vibes off any of these professionals i either clam up or end up getting very angry with them...Actually now it's mainly getting angry as am so fed up of so called professionals claiming to but knowing nothing about ASD's...We went right back to the very beginning of M's life...How was my pregnancy?...It was fine...How was the birth?...It was fine...Did he end up in special nursery or anything or get home from hospital normally?...Was the latter...Then she asked when had i started to notice any problems with him...I said he was diagnosed with semantic pragmatic disorder on the autistic spectrum when he was 6, completely out of the blue...So she asked did he develop normally?...Answer was again yes...When did he start to sit up, crawl, walk etc...As M they discovered M had a clicking hip when he was 2 days old he ended up with a harness/splint thing on until he was about 6 months old...So he was sitting up really really early as he had support...He started to sit up when only about 3-4 months old...He also was able to stand at the furniture when he was 4-5 months old...When he was about 11 months to a year old he discovered crawling...So instead of taking the leap of letting go and walking he got down on the floor and crawled at some terrific speed LOL...So he didn't actually walk unaided until he was 17 months old...This was the only slight delay in his development and was still within the age parameters...He started to talk at normal age even though he did have glue ear...Then he developed epilepsy...So she asked lots of questions about the epilepsy and how it affected him...We were warned back when he was 6 that because he had the epilepsy young and grown out of it young it could come back in his teens...She agreed with that and asked lots of questions...To be honest some of the signs she mentioned i have wondered if it is back but in a different form...Then again it's hard to tell because of the autism, which she again agreed with...With autism sometimes they can appear to be 'away with the fairies' same as could be for absence seizures...She asked why he had been refered to the assessment centre up here when he was 3...I said that was because of the epilepsy medication he was on...It *slows* you down and he was assessed to see if he would need a wee bit extra input to start primary school...So he was assessed and they said yes it would help and he ended up going part time to the special needs nursery in assessment centre and part time mainstream nursery...He did mix with the other kids at mainstream no problem...He mixed at the mother & toddler groups no problem...He was reading fluently by the time he was 3...Unlike G there was no obvious signs of the autism at all when he was pre-school...Now until the psych asked about other children i had she didn't realise G was also on the spectrum...So she asked questions about him to compare with M...I told her that M's diagnosis of being on autistic spectrum was a massive shock to me...Not least because i felt incredibly stupid at not spotting it as G had been diagnosed 4 years previous :o(  She assured me i wasn't although i still feel i was but that's human nature...She asked why M went to SEN school and not mainstream...I said because he was still on the epilepsy meds it was felt best he went there...Worst decision i ever made to be honest...She asked why i moved him to his current school...I told her that was because a) he was being bullied b) he was BORED silly c) final straw was an illegal exclusion...I told her that his previous school do not follow the national cirriculum...The only tests he did whilst there were when i asked for them to be done...Not SATS we don't do them in scotland but tests for the different levels they achieve in scottish national cirriculum...I told her his previous school really didn't believe he had a brain let alone be capable of using it...She asked how is he getting on at this school...I said brilliant they straight away realised he has a brain and can use it...They DO follow the cirriculum as far as any pupil is able to...I told her how much happier he is there where people do believe in him :o)

I told her that in the past i have always managed to spot the trigger for any temper outbursts...I told her how he was when his father emigrated...He wasn't too bad when his father walked out but he was only 6 at the time...I told her that with M it is very visible that something is upsetting him but with G he clams it all up...I told her about his behaviour going downhill after he saw his father again 2 years ago...That was when we first went back to clinical psychology since he had been diagnosed...I told her the reason had been to get help with his fear of dogs and cats...We'd had to wait 13 months to be seen!!!...As his temper had deteriorated the clinical psych tried to deal with that and quite frankly did sod all about his dog/cat phobia...In fact she decided in aug 2004 and she didn't need to see him again and all she did about the dog thing was give him a social story...I also said how angry and upset i was about what this clinical psych had written back to my gp in april/may this year...The school doctor did say she didn't think that clinical psych meant it to come across as me being a crap parent...My own GP said he certainly saw it that way and would have thought that if it was him the letter was about...I said that the clinical psych had written a load of rubbish in the letter and basically had told a pack of lies...The clinical psych had said there was no point in seeing me anymore as M's difficulties hadn't changed and i was unwilling to take her advice and put it into action...I said to the psych today that what she had said was i needed to do what they do at school...Give him time out and some space on his own...In actual fact it was me that told clinical psych that...I told her that i told school to do this as this is what i do at home and always have done...Fortunately the psych i saw today believed me :o) I told her how i use music and specifically robbie williams to try and calm him down...I told her how worried my family are that one day M might kill me by accident when he beats me up :o(  He hasn't been quite as bad as strangling me with force like last easter...She is going to write to head of social work disabilities team demanding that i be given a named social worker ASAP...That more money is made available to get more respite...As she said now K is away at uni we are down 1 carer in the household...Which i am glad about as she does need to get her own life and so far is doing rather well at it :o) She thinks that what i try to do is right and that having 2 to cope with on my own with minimal input is ridiculous...She doesn't think am a bad mother and that helped put me at ease loads...She has asked if i mind her doing some research back through all their files to find out if they have had bloods taken to genetic test...I said i don't mind...She also asked their fathers name and date of birth to see if somewhere might be anything about him...Said i don't mind but if he finds out he'll go balistic...I also told her that i thought their father was on the spectrum and possibly it could be genetic...As i said i have a huge family (42 first cousins) we have made another appointment to discuss it further LOL...There is no-one else like my boys within my family that i am aware of...If there had been any around their age then am sure that one of my uncles or aunt on mums side would have been straight on phone to her for advice...I did say i wondered if M had some ADHD along with the autism but it's hard to tell as some traits crossover...I also want him rediagnosed as it's been so long since it was made...She does agree with me that the temper outbursts this year that have been so horrendous are 98% probability being hormonal...And if you're female then there are very visible signs of hormones kicking in and you can get medical help...If you're male then you don't :o(  I better shut up as this is turning into a mile long entry and i haven't touched on a lot of what was said...Then again i don't want to say all but i am worried about the genetic testing side...Am worried for K's sake and so is she...If they find it is genetic then she is worried about having children of her own...I would love to be a granny but at same time i wouldn't want K to go through all that i have...I would of course support her heaps if that eventuality ever happened...Oh i ended up with a puncture on way back from hospital so car is in the garage hence am here and not at the gym...Waiting on a call as i need to go to asda shopping laters

Toodle pip tc xx