Ta for the comments last night...Am not poorly just M decided to lash out physically at me again and ended up punching me in the throat...Not quite as bad as last easter in that i wasn't gasping for breath but still painful...He calmed down after about 10 mins after flouncing off to his room...It's hard and as i told him if he'd been my boyfriend or husband he'd be out the door...He did say sorry and i know he meant it even though to anyone looking on they wouldn't have thought so...Much later in the evening he said he doesn't like feeling how he is just now and it made his head all jumbled up...When i say he very rarely gets ill that's only the times i actually know about...For all i know he may be ill but just not saying...Many people with autism have an extremely high pain threshold...He is one of them but i also heard a different theory on this last march...It's not that they have a high pain threshold as such...Just that they think people should automatically know how they are feeling inside because they know it...Now that makes sense to me from what i know of autism...If i had 1p for every time i have said to the boys over the years 'you have to tell me out loud as i am not inside your head and don't know what you are thinking' then i'd be very rich indeed LOL...Autism like other mental disabilities puts a massive emotional strain on the family and those who care for them...To be honest if i had the choice i would prefer that my 2 had the classic type of autism where they don't speak and are huddled away...Obviously it would still be emotionally difficult but i don't think quite so hard as having 2 boys who can get so confused because although they can speak they can't communicate how they percieve things...It's a very black & white literal world for them and they have to be taught how to see the shades of grey we take for granted...I have to count to 10 and stop myself being frustrated with them and i had to learn how to phrase things towards them...G has been taught in the base how to tell little white lies so as not to hurt someone's feelings...He's been/being taught expressions of speech...example being 'raining cats and dogs'...In cookery he had his recipes written literally step by step and with things like tbsp (tablespoon) written out in full...Gradually he is learning to cope with stuff like that...He is extremely intelligent academically but his chances of gaining employment are not very high :o( Interviews will be a social nightmare for him...Being fully independant and living in his own place is something that worries me more as they get older...This is why although to the outside world G appears like any other teenage lad and not disabled in any way he is being officially classed disabled in order to get access to stuff he will need and be entitled to...He may in the future surprise us all and become an academic of some major standing LOL or invent something marvellous LOL...M on the other hand is learning through his school about applying for jobs and being interviewed and how to deal with those situations in a small way...Any *jobs* at school like being a prefect they fill in an application form...Then they get interviewed for the job...They don't always get the job they applied for so they learn to deal with rejection letters...It is kinda role playing stuff but at same time in my opinion very good practise within the school...Anyways i digress and have gone off on a rant again sorry :o) I did have a mini breakdown last night but am okies now...The psychiatrist am seeing did say i was very cool and together last time i saw her but am not...I do have my moments of cracking up with it all just no-one really gets to see them as such anymore...I will be telling the social worker when she comes round to visit tomorrow...Tomorrow is going to be hard as andy will be telling them he has to leave as he has a new full time job...Am dreading how they are going to react but they do know that it wouldn't be possible to continue forever...We've just been incredibly lucky that he stayed so long which is better than having different people every few months...He is going to stay in touch and he's going to emphasise that to them...Anyways they're BOTH going back to school tomorrow and i have a pile of washing to put in tumble drier and more loads to put in to wash so better go and get that done...Am alright today last night i went and had a laugh in one of the chatrooms on here with a pal and K came on AOL via one of her friends laptops and joined us...Hmmm that wasn't so good as she kept embarassing me by calling me MUMMYKINS grrrr
Toodle pip tc xx
8 comments:
Oh Cath I can imagine how you would lose it now and again ,you appear so in control,and also you explain things very well ,Iam full of admiration for the way you are bringing the boys up...............Jan xx
You do a grand job Caff and I hope the throat is ok today. I think they will surpirse you in some way, it doesn't stop the worry.........but I think that comes with parenting. My son hated being called disabled when younger. I'm glad you had some fun later in the day lolol@mummykins :) Rache xx
I thought that was what had happened yesterday with M. My J lashes out like that too, so I know what you mean, though J is just six and more controllable. He also thinks that I know how he feels without him having to tell me, and that I automatically know every thought inside his head! Glad you're OK now, but still ((((()))))'s coming your way ;o)
Sara x
this came through as one of those funny alerts.
What a great insight I do fdind it helpful
Caff I am glad the throat is feeling better....You always seem to cope so well...Thanks for explaining everthing to us - as you do, It is good for us to understand more about Autism...I reckon you are a brilliant Mum ......Ally
Aw caff you really do put up with a lot I don't know how you manage!! It's good that you have this journal to tell us how your feelin' and I only hope that if I can help in anyway please let me know!
I'm only a phone call away if you need me and I'll see you next month -x-
Hi Caff, thanks so much for explaining so may things about Autism, of which most of us know little about. Sorry I`m way behind with your entries so I`ll read them all now. :o)
Sandra xxxx
Post a Comment