Tired LOL

Daughter was up most of the night ill :o(  ...I thought she had a touch of hayfever as she has been sniffing and sneezing last few days...She won't take anything as she can't swallow pills!!!...It's a pain and i keep saying the hayfever pills are so tiny you can barely see them...She was fine until last night when she was watching Bad Girls <shudder> and she started complaining she was freezing...She was burning up though again...Later after being in bed for a few hours she was sick...She was sick again this morning but seems to be fine now...Hope the rest of us don't get it whatever it is as i've had enough of horrid bugs lately...Plus school breaks up on fri for the summer holidays...ARRRGGHHH!!!! joy of joys and so much fun LOL...Actually summer hols i prefer to the short christmas or easter ones...Youngest takes about 2 weeks to get into different routine...With the short 2 week breaks that can be a nightmare...At least with 6 week summer break then he can have some fun time...

I was late for my review at the gym but the trainer had time to see me anyway :o) ...So now i have 4 new weight machines added to my programme...Never knew my shoulders, upper back and upper arms could hurt so much ROFL...I only managed 10 lengths of the swimming pool as i was so knackered...Guess my body will get used to it next week...It did the last time LOL...He's threatened me with starting on free weights too after my next review...I am going to point out to him that i don't want to end up looking like some muscle bound female version of charles atlas LOL...This better work the way i want it to...The whole point of starting at he gym was so i won't end up needing lots of surgery to remove excess skin etc once i reach my target weight...It does appear to be working that way on my arms and legs so far :o)...My tummy is different though...The layers of fat although they are disappearing the skin doesn't seem to be toning up so much...Oh well the amount of sit ups am doing is now upped...I hated situps, they always seemed to boring...They still are boring really but doing them lying on the swiss ball does make them easier to do...I was doing 2 lots of 15 and now am doing 2 lots of 20...That's only 40 so not that many i guess...

Youngest has activities week just now...Monday was sports in morning and BBQ in afternoon...Yesterday he did crafts and a rounders tournament...He came joint 3rd at rounders :o) ...Today the secondary pupils went to do forest walks about 24 miles away...He said the weather was nice there and it was sunny...As his face is looking more tanned then it must have been LOL...He is really tired from it though...I did ask if maybe we could go there one day in the summer for a walk and take a picnic...I got told NO i would find it too hard ROFL...Nice to see he has faith in my physical well being LOL...Tomorrow he is going *tubing* when i find out what that is i will let you know...Have bought myself a sirloin steak as a treat for tea as daughter not well enough to have more than just soup...See i can still do mean mum <ggg> ...Going to have a nice long soak in bubble bath after that...Toodle Pip xx

One word

Okies i saw this on other journals so thought to myself i may as well get in on the act LOL

One word... Please leave a one word comment that you think best describes me.

It can only be one word.  No more.

Then copy and paste this into your journal so that I may leave a word about you...

Am back LOL

Okies you may have noticed a lack of entries in this space since last tuesdays one...This is because my windows went all corrupt on wed and i had to put my poorly PC into the puter shop :o(  ...I got it back at weekend but after starting to set everything back up my BB refused to work so i didn't come on often as it costs to use dialup...But my BB is working today WOOHOO!!!!...My puter is almost back to how it was WOOHOO!!!!.

So what's been happening whilst i have been away...The all day autism strategy event i was at last thurs was very interesting...A young man who used to go to base eldest is in did a talk about how his life had been...He was, as most aspergers are, blunt and straight to the point...This didn't sit comfy with some of the professionals in the room <GGG> but they did take his comments on board :o) ...This young man has just finished 1st year at uni studying clinical psychology...He was written off by educational psychologist saying he wouldn't get much in his standard grades...He got the highest pass you can in ALL of his subjects <ggg>...He was then written off by ed psych for his highers...He got 2 A's and 1 B...A so called professional down in cambridge wrote him off saying he wouldn't be able to go to uni...Well he's just finished his first year and is doing well...Now isn't that just THE BEST WAY to show these *professionals* how wrong they are when they write off our kids...My eldest is hoping to go to uni and i think the ed psych has learnt her lesson as she hasn't written him off :o) ...We also had a talk from a parent of an autistic child who has lots of problems...His talk was very good but it did make some people feel guilty that they weren't doing as much or similar for their children...As i knew this family for years i pointed out to those i knew, who were thinking that way, that his son is very much different to their kids...It is disgusting that the likes of that family have to pay thousands and thousands of pounds to help their child...The young man had said in his talk that he didn't want a *cure* for ASD to be found...The parent said he hoped that one day he could *cure* his son...My own personal opinion of this is that i never hoped for a cure...The *cure* i think this parent really means is for his son to become as able as my eldest lad and the young man...We then had a talk from one of the parents from my support group...Then we did workshops saying what needs putting in place and all the bad practice that still goes on with ASD in my city...Hope they listened...It's disgusting that people are still getting the same crap when their child is diagnosed as i got 12 years ago with eldest lad <sigh> .

Fri went to a group meeting, then gym, then housework LOL...Sat took eldest to skiing lessons and got him booked into a week of snowboarding lessons over the summer hols :o) ...The rest of sat i spent trying to set my puter back up with everything LOL...Oh and on sat youngest FINALLY got a card from his father in the states with a $50 note inside it...I was at skiing and daughter told me his reaction...He said 'We have to send it back as we cannot use that in this country it is useless' ROFL...Will go to main post office and get it changed for free...Am having to emphasise that $50 is less than £50...My ex can be such a twit (change the i <gg>) at times <sigh> ...Sun the boys were at respite and that about it.

Yesterday went to youngest school sports day :o) ...It was really good and it was proper old fashioned, competitive school sports...Why the PC brigade want to get rid of them i don't know...Children have to learn to win and lose and to cope with that...They try to do away with competitive school sports days then moan and whinge we have not enuff top class sportswomen/men!!!!...ALL the children had a great time and really didn't care at end of the day if they were first, second, third or last...Youngests team came second overall so he was happy...Last night at footie training it was the last week before the summer hols...They all got a certificate and small football :o) ...Went to weightwatchers last night and this week i lost 3 n half pounds :o) ...I don't feel half a stone thinner over last two weeks but my effort at the gym must finally be getting seen on the scales WOOHOO!!!...I have my review with trainer at gym tomorrow morning :o) .

What else???? Daughter has been narky because she has emails she needs to read and stuff she needs to download...So will let her on in a bit LOL...The weather has been up and down but mainly warm and sunny...Pollen count is through the roof so we all have a touch of hayfever but eldest is really not well with it at all...This si even with his regular anithistamine :o( ...Going to try get him to GP tomorrow see if they can give hm something else.

Am not gonna read back all the entries i have missed on everyones journals in one go or i will be on here for hours...Do hope everyone is well out there in journal land :o)

Toodle pip for now xx

Youngest

Forgot to cut youngest's hair last night so i was a bad mum LOL...It actually isn't that long just now so it looked fine for the *awards* cermeony at school this morning...Managed to get daughter out of bed to come with me <ggg> ...He got a certificate of achievement from his teacher for spelling and maths...He got one from the french teacher for excellent achievement in french...He got one from the PE teacher for recognition of good work in both PE and swimming...He also got a special certificate for team effort in being a school prefect this year...His drama and french that he passed SQA access 2 in he will get his certificate in august when they are sent out by the SQA...So am a proud mum...This is my son who 2 years ago was languishing in a different SEN school bored to bits because they didn't let him use his brain...EVERY child in the school gets some recognition for their work and achievements over the last school year...The primary children get a year book full of pictures of their work...the secondary children they make certificates for them and any places they have been to where they have been awarded something they save to hand out at todays ceremony...The children who are leaving to go to college or into work get a very special leather bound record of their time at the school...They also have 2 very special awards that are given every year...One was donated by a member of the public and it is given to the child from the primary section who has been the most deserving over the year...The other is donated by the local prison and is given to the secondary child who has been most deserving...Last years award for the secondary pupil was given to a girl who had been a real high flyer in both primary and secondary mainstream...Then she was either struck down with an illness or had some kind of accident (can't remember which)...She had been on course to get really high grade passes and go to university...She was left disabled by what happened to her and ended up in the SEN school...But she'd applied herself to achieve as much as she still possibly could...This years winners were no less deserving :o)...I must admit i got a bit teary today, it's so special what this school does for their very special pupils...Next week is activities week at his school then it is summer holidays for 6 weeks.

It started to rain last night and i had to rush to bring the washing in...It poured allnight but we didn't get an actual thunderstorm...Today it is sunny and wamr again after a bit of a dull start...Went to the gym after being at youngest's school...I did the cardiocascular stuff today (aerobic) this is the best type of exercise for burning fat and believe me there is a lot of fat here to burn...The resitance (weights) is good for toning up with...Boy can i feel some of my muscles toning up...I have been doing the situp's on the swiss ball everytime am there although technically i think they are part of my weights programme...I definitely have tummy muscles under the layer of fat there, i can really feel them tightening up...Yesterday i popped into matalan to see if they had any cheap jogging bottoms...Mine are a bit baggy and big on me now :o) ...Got an el cheapo 3/4 length pair for £6...Went upstairs to JJB's shop before going into gym and bought new trainers as mine were very old and tatty...So now i have nice new clothes for going there with LOL...One problem the bottoms had no pockets duh!!! Forgot to check that out when i bought them...So where do i stick my MP3 player i though nooo ARRGGHHHH...No way can i workout to the rubbish music that is on either the box, vh-1 or mtv or other such crap music channel playing in their...Luckily MP3 player has a ring on end of it so i hooked safety pin bit of locker key through there and pinned it to me ROFL...Oh and i lost 2n half lb's last night :o) ...Our meeting leader makes me laff she keeps saying we are going to have the body of a goddess or in the male members cases the body of an adonis <ggg> ...I wish in my dreams, maybe by next summer <fingers crossed>

NOT going to silly reception thing at my old art school tonight...a) can't be bothered and b) there will be no-one their i know and c) A glass of sparkling wine (don't like wine) and a stawberry tart is quite frankly not tempting enuff <ggg> ...I do need to find a sitter for thurs so i can go out and see old friend...We had some bad news at the weekend and daughter is going to a funeral down south on thurs...My ex sister in laws husband was found dead last week in his flat :o( ...They were seperated and had been for a few years but weren't divorced...He was an alcoholic (why they split) but daughter still loved her uncle and wanted to go to the funeral...Her cousins are only 13 & 9 and now have no dad at all :o( ...I would take her down myself but i have a very important all day meeting about autism strategy in the city so i can't go...If the cause of death is what my sis in law thought then the poor man died painfully and alone too and he was only 38...Daughter is very upset but won't talk to m but i do understand it can be a lot easier to talk about these things with someone not connected at all to the family.

Not going to leave this entry on a sad note...Today when youngest came home from school i answered the door and thought it was his sister on the entry system thing...Even though i KNEW she was in her bedroom he sounded so like i her i said hello to her...Youngest now thinks i am totally bonkers not that he didn't realise this already but it's first time he's called me bonkers <gggg> ...Toodle Pip xx

 

 

 

Monday bits

What a complete and utter farce the grand prix was then <sigh> ...Eldest lad gave up in disgust...Youngest was confused so went back to bedroom to play his game...I was cheesed off and angry and want to kick FIA and ferrari's backsides...They go on and on about saftey yet they wanted them to go out and drive in tyres that could quite easily have ended up killing someone!!!!...At end of the day they will blame michelin but i feel sorry for them too...Manufacturing faults can happen to anyone at anytime...It's ridiculous to want to stick to a rule that could endanger lives when it was apparently a manufacturing fault...The FIA could have just let them change the tyres on all the michelin cars and not penalised them...Or have sent the bridgestone cars to the front of the grid and had the others behind in order they qualified in...Sheer stupidity that has made F1 look like a bucnh of squabbling kids in the playground...

It's still sunny today with a bit of a breeze...It's nice to have the breeze as it's not quite so stiffling as it was on sat & sun :o) ...Got washing out on the line again which i won't be able to do for much longer for a while...They are building yet more flats out the back on the right hand side...These ones will be so close that when the building work is going on any washing i put out will probs end up dirtier than they were before i washed them...Been to the gym early this morning and it's weigh in tonight <gulp>...I have no idea what i am going to do about going to the gym in a couple of weeks time...It will be 6 weeks of summer hols and i really don't want to have the boys on their own for the time i am in the gym...They are getting one day a week respite <sigh>...I guess i could still wake up at usual time for them going to school and sneak off to the gym whilst they are asleep LOL...

Wimbledon is on the telly WAHAY...I do like watching tennis although am utter rubbish at playing it LOL...Fingers crossed the young scottish lad does well...Daughter got a letter from student loan people today...She will be getting the full amount for the loan :o) ...They haven't given her payment dates yet though...My mum keeps asking if there is anythign she will need for going to uni with...Keep saying i have no idea as we don't know what type of accomodation she has been allocated yet...Daughter did say this morning thatthey don't provide pots, n pans, crockery etc etc in the self catering accomodation which she has applied for...Will have to start adding in household stuff every time i go to asda LOL...Am offski to eat some strawbs but without any cream...Toodle Pip xx

 

Think am pink rofl

Well the sun stayed out for the BBQ :o) and my arms are looking a bit pink even though i had on factor 25...Oh well never mind i don't go brown regardless...Last year it rained for it so much better having plenty sun...This was the last saturday club before the summer holidays and they always have a BBQ for the last one of the year...The boys enjoyed themselves although youngest is really funny when he goes to one...He won't eat any food at one BUT he will stand and either cook (if allowed) or 'supervise' the cooking LOL...He did that today and consequently absolutely honked of smoke...Being the kind of day it was i now realise i need to go shopping to buy them shorts or 3/4 trousers as they have grown again...How inconsiderate LOL...

Wasn't Dr Who just absolutely fantastic tonight :o) ...I have really enjoyed watching it and got more and more into it every week...My teenagers love it too so those who said only middle aged geeks would be watching it can go stick that in their pipe and smoke it...They LOVE the daleks...Think i will be buying the DVD's as i missed a few and well Christopher Eccleston is easy on the eye <g>...David Tennant looks rather tasty too though am really looking forward to the christmas special :o)

No text from daughter saying about the election thing except for one to say it hadn't taken place yet and she doubted she would get it...Phoned my best friend and she was asking if i could daughter to brother sit one night next week...Dunno which one yet but an old friend is going to be up here for a few days :o)...Will be good to see him again he moved to glasgow to do a psychology degree a couple of years ago...Am watching the programme about live aid on bbc2...It's interesting to see all the behind the scenes stuff and all about what really happened...Bob Geldof does come across as a bit of a in yer face git who pissed everyone off especially midge ure...I still like him there is just that something charismatic about the man...Ok yeah i used to fancy him when i was a young teen and i loved the boomtown rats...Sometimes you need someone who will stand up and do the no nonsense bit and he certainly does that...Anyways just noticed the time and the boys ain't in bed yet...Mind you tomorrow is sunday no school and no respite so they can sleep late HAHAHA!!!! yeah right...Toodle pip xx

The sun has got his hat on LOL

The sun has got his hat on hip hip hooray the sun has got his hat on and he's coming out to play :o) ...Hope you're not all deaf now from my awful singing <ggg> ...It's very warm and very sunny...Got lots of washing out drying, more ironing <grump> ...Oh and i do know some men who LIKE ironing just they happen to be married or gay...My younger sisters hubby likes ironing so she lets his do most of theirs LOL...My ex was actually better at ironing than me but he didn't like it...When i am rich (hahahaha) i will pay a man to come do mine for me <ggg>...Weather is so hot eldest was sweltering at skiing this morning...Where the slope is there is nothing surrounding it to stop the sun blazing down...Mind you it also means there's nothing to stop the rain and wind pounding down either...I am NOT moaning about the heat it is a tolerable level unlike what was forecast for down around london and south coast of england...In ski gear though it must have felt they were cooking...The instructor let them finish a wee bit early as they were too hot and tired to cope today...We're off to the BBQ in a few minutes sadly my legs are still not in a decent enuff shape to wear shorts...Hope you all have a great day in this sun as am sure it won't last...Toodle Pip xx

WOW we have sun!!!

We have sun today am in shock LOL...Ok sometimes it has gone to hide but it has been really warm even when sun was hiding for a few mins :o)...Hope it is like this tomorrow as we have a BBQ at the saturday club the boys go to...It is the last club before the summer hols and youngest has decided he is going for the BBQ...He won't eat anything but he will go over and boss them about whilst they are cooking...

Daughter went away for the weekend to scottish youth parliament meeting somewhere in glasgow...She is standing for an executive position again so fingers crossed she gets one this time...Last time she didn't but there was something fishy about the vote count...Event though she is leaving here to go to uni she will still represent the same area as she did before...She really enjoys being in the SYP and it has been good for her...She has met other young people age 14-25 from all over scotland and has friends all over the country...This does mean i rarely get to use the phone anymore like...They are none political but they do bring youth issues more to the attention of the actual scottish parliament :o) ...Before she left the post arrived and there was good news for her...My post was phone bill and rubbish mail LOL...Hers was news about her student loan application...It didn't say how much her actual loan will be nor when she will get it but it did say she will get the full bursary and the payment dates for that...So as she is getting the bursary then i would presume she will be getting the loan too...Also if the loan is late in being paid at least she will have some money at the beginning of each term...

I went to the gym again then went into town...Went and picked up the dress although still not sure if i will actually wear it nor fit into it properly LOL...Had a wander about and ended up in index to see what they have as it is closing down...Got a CD holder that is also a floor lamp for the boys room for half price...Saw a glass shelving unit i would like also half price but didn't have money to get it today...My dragons would look good on it though especially if i put a light at the bottom shining upwards...Maybe if they still have one left next week i could get it will have to wait and see...To be honest they don't really have that much off the original prices considering they are closing down...I heard that argos had taken over a lot of the index stores but as their is an argos in the same centre then ours wasn't one of them...I checked the prices of things i thought would be useful for daughter having for uni but the discount wasn't good enough for me to bother...I sound such a skinflint LOL but hey if it's in a sale and you can get cheaper in asda anyway then no point...Also finally got one of the make poverty history bands i've wanted one for ages just every time i tried the body shop or oxfam they had none left at the time...Was really good and resisted a cappucinno but only because i have BBQ tomorrow LOL...

In answer to stuarts comment yesterday a man would be nice but a man who loved ironing would be heaven <gggg> and ladies if i ever find one i'll hire him out for a good rate of course ROFL...Toodle Pip xx 

Thurs

Well my timing was out yesterday...Just as i was leaving gym area to go for a swim to cool down the dishy trainer came in to train <sob>...Didn't do much yesterday except go to visit a friend after going to gym...Today guess what i went to the gym LOL...Then went to visit another friend in her new house...It's a nice house but needs some work...Nice quiet garden out the back too...She was only about 5 mins away in car before but is now 7 miles from my flat...Will have to be careful when i go visit her for rush hour traffic...Always makes me laff them calling it rush hour as it's more dead slow and stop hour...There is ONE main road out of the north of the city where i live and the traffic at that time is a nightmare...Actually on a friday rush hour seems to start at 1pm!!!!!!...

Have been doing lots more washing and a wee bit of ironing...Daughter is away at weekend and wanted specific clothes to take away with her...Needless to say these clothes were dirty ones <sigh> ...Now got to dry them and then SHE can iron them...Her hair seems to have settled down a bit although it still really doesn't look that purple...Tomorrow i must go into town as i have a dress to pick up that i put a deposit on last week...Yes you did read that right i said dress LOL...It's for later in the year but i got envigled into getting it last week...I so don't do dress or skirts or anything girlie...Got a busy week next week so going to chill as much as possible over the weekend...Better go make proper tea for myself so i won't be tempted to snack laters...Got the pic below on an email from a friend LOL...I still have severe allergy to the iron...I want a man who likes ironing...Well actually i need one <ggg>...Toodle pip xx

 

tues ramblings

I put on a pound but i got let off with it as i had been ill...Woke up today with awful headache so went back to sleep after boys went to school...So i've missed going to gym today but guess that's okies...Me and daughter went shopping for a baby pressie and purple hair dye for her...Got something lilac and pretty in Asda for new baby...I hate shopping but i do like looking at baby clothes as they are just so cute...Daughter has just finished trying to make her hair purple...To be honest i think she would have been better using the one i suggested as you can barely see the colour...It does look fine though, just looks really dark with a nice sheen to it...One of her friends came round to do it for her and what a mess they have made LOL...Glad none went on the carpet, towels can go in the bin, but they really should have taken more care where the dye went...She now has purple ears and a purple forehead <gggg> ...THEY can clean up the mess themselves as i am such an evil mum ROFL...Youngest got to try canoeing today when he went swimming with school...He is looking forward to trying it out again next tues now :o)...Managed to book myself a place on an autism strategy awareness all day meeting next week FINALLY <phew> ...Even though our group are supposed to be doing a short 5 min talk we still have to book places...And that is all for today folks so take care and toodle pip xx

Monday

First apologies for letting out who won the grand prix yesterday...Next time i promise i will save it for laters after the highlights prog :o)...Now contrary to popular belief of readers of this drivel i do not have boundless amounts of energy...I do love swimming and always have done ever since i was chucked in the north sea when i was 3 LOL...Got chucked back in the following summer too when i had forgotton how to swim...Thinking about that these days you'd get done for child abuse if someone saw you throwing a child in the water...The reason i go to the gym is because i have an awful lot of weight to lose...I don't want to end up needing major plastic surgery once i have lost the weight, hence going to the gym...Wether it works or not remains to be seen...I don't have time to go into hospital to get a tummy tuck or even full body lift thing like sharon osbourne did...I have found a few benefits from using the gym...One thing i have found is i actually feel good now after going there...I can now sit cross legged something i haven't been able to do for a couple of years since my knee started locking up all the time...Pyshio said i had weak quads which was reason for the lock up...My *attacks* of pins n needles & numbness & dropping stuff thing aren't happening quite so often :o) ...The last benefit, if you could call it that, is some of the male totty or scenery as i call it <ggg> is rather nice LOL...Being single am allowed to look...So i go to the gym basically to punish myself for being so overweight but i will continue after i have reached my target...It knackers me totally just now but some of it is getting easier...I have to put back my review from the trainer due to being ill last week and i am taking it easy HONEST...I did ask if maybe i should up the weight level on one of the machines as it has gotten a bit easy to do...Actually this machine i find a bit strange to use being female...It's called the lateral pulldown...Now if i was completely flat chested or male it would be fine but am neither...You sit on the seat bit and there is a bar goes across your legs...Then you have to stand up briefly to grab these hand hold things then sit back on the seat...Then you pull down the bar with the straps on it bringing your elbows into your back...If you have boobs it pushes them out LOL...I just feel when i pull down and stick my boobs out i go up a couple of cup sizes and everyone around is staring LOLOL...

Guess as i mentioned it i better explain the pins n needles thing...It started quite a few years ago and i got an MRI done on my brain which came back normal...At that time i refused to have a lumbar puncture done and just left it alone...About 5 years ago after my ex had decided to drop custody issue and divorce was started i decided i really needed to be seen again...I had been to optician as my eyes go weird when it happens...Optician suggested seeing someone at hospital...So my delightful GP referred me to neurology again...Neurologist asked me what i thought it was LOL like i'd know after all he's the one with the training...Upshot was another MRI on my brain and a lumbar puncture...Both came back normal...What they had been testing for was MS...Neurologist said there was a very small chance it actually was but wouldn't show in tests as so mild so just to keep going to GP...Also because of the boys neuroloGIT decided it was just stress...Now my GP said if it was stress i would have been wheelchair bound many many years ago...So now we don't know...GP gives me painkillers to dampen the pain from the pins n needles...I don't drive if my hands are bad as no way could i grip the wheel or gearstick...He did do allergy tests on me, normal...He has had me seen by neuroloGIT on the day when my arm has been shaking so much i can do nothing at all...Neurologist answer STRESS...Oh also neuroloGIT said maybe get more tests done in a few more years time...I don't mind at all as i cope i know what i can and cannot do when it happens...GP has ruled out ME, stress, fibromyalgia, rare allergy and just about everything...It's worse when it's warm <weird> but i have painkillers which do work and i don't stress about it...Been living with it too many years now to get bothered about it...Going to the gym has made the attacks come less often and has lessened any that have happened :o) ...There is more to it than just numbness and pins n needles but sod that :o)...Anyways time to go get footie gear ready for the boys and me dressed in my lightest weight clothes for WW LOL...It will be a bad week as i haven't eaten much for the last week...Toodle pip xx

PS: The trainer whom i got was in gym working out today in shorts and his legs are defo worth being on show <gggg>

Sunday stuff

Well the grand prix has just finished and the finn won <sigh> ...It was an exciting race mind you so that was a good thing i just don't like raikkonen he's BORING lol...Usually the saftey car is out in force in canada but only the once this afternoon even though it was incident full which made for the excitment...

It's been a rubbish day as far as weather is concerned it's like back to winter again <sob> Needless to say i didn't go out late last night and take the washing in so it will have to be redone along with the pile that is obscuring the bathroom floor...See this is what happens when you are ill and everyone else is ill too...Chores like washing mount up and worse still the ironing mountain will go back to being like the grampian mountains again LOL...I have decided that the one major quality i must find in a man is that he can iron and more importantly LIKES ironing...Am sure there is one out there somewhere ROFL...

The boys were at respite playscheme today and i did the usual of goign back to bed and reading sunday papers...Then i did go down to the gym...I know, i know but i do have to start back...So treadmill again and it felt slow!!!...Then tried cycling machine but not on as high a setting as i had got up to...Mind you my *high* setting wasn't that high LOL...Decided to do the situps and have now decided my tummy hurts after them as i actually have muscles there <ggg>...Tried the rowing machine <groan>...Though okies will put it on a lower setting but only managed 5 mins...On refelction i might have been better doing 5 mins only but on slightly higher setting...Went for my usual swim after to cool down and managed 14 lengths today...This annoys me as i love swimming and it is that part of going to the gym that is really tiring me out after being unwell...After the gym i went to pick up the boys and took them shopping...Youngest has had all his birthday money burning a hole in his pocket LOL...So he bought a millennium falcon and a game for the PS2 and coldplays new album...He still has a voucher for Game (the shop) and £15 in the bank...I will go to the bank and take out that money tomorrow and he can use it along with the voucher to get another game for the PS2...Still nothing arrived from america <grrrrr>...No-one seems to be hungry even though i haven't made any tea yet!!!!...Will go fry some steak on grill pan in a bit and have that in sandwiches as i can't be bothered peeling potatoes...Got some ciabatta bread cheap in sainsburys which daughter likes so she fancys that...Hope everyone is well out there...Toodle pip xx

 

Someone slap me please LOL

Okies i've felt a bit better for last couple of days...Mean am over being ill right...Wrong...Well maybe not quite wrong just tried to do too much today...Maybe a teensy bit...Okies got told off by daughter and eldest son...Hangs head in shame...See i took eldest lad to skiing lesson and popped into asda whilst he was there...Felt great as i managed to walk round asda without feeling done in...Soooo whilst he was at club this afternoon i thought i could go to the gym...Now the intention was maybe 5 mins on treadmill then a wee swim in the pool...Yeah right NOT...I did 10 mins on the treadmill but it was slow pace and i didn't have it set on a big slope...HONEST...Suppose you lot won't believe me either but tis truth...So having felt fine doing that i thought hmmm cycling machine & rowing thingy, naaaaa too tiring, i'll try doing my weight machines proggy stuff...Now seriously in all honesty i did feel fine doing them BUT i don't think i should have done the situps on the squishy ball thing...Tummy hurts tonight <sob> ...I did go into the pool and managed 10 lengths JUST...Felt so knackered after the situps and the swim that on way home from club with eldest lad i got a chippy for them for tea...I did manage to stay awake on sofa for Dr Who and have been flat out asleep since LOLOL...So someone slap me and call me stupid please...No-one believes me here at home when i say the weight thingys are easier than the rowing/cycling thingys...I know i have been a bit stupid but i have to start back somewhere don't i...Am off to send the boys to bed and sulk in a quiz room <ggg>...Toodle pip xx

PS: Dr Who was good tonight...Proper Daleks back WOOHOO!!!!!!!

Ponderings

Feeling a bit better...Am over the actual fluey bit but am still a bit weak...Daughter and eldest lad are fully recovered now though :o) ...Youngest has come down with it although you couldn't really tell...He says his head feels funny, it's not sore just feels funny...I do like his descriptions sometimes as he's so rarely feeling uner the weather he doesn't really know how to describe any symptoms...He's been off school yesterday and today which he is worried about...Not about missing school work, worried that he hasn't been able to hand in his reply to the *awards ceremony*...Every year his school do a presentation to ALL the pupils...They make them certificates for passing certain levels within scottish national cirriculum and for any achievements they have made (eg: he will get one for being a prefect this year) ...I think it is a wonderful thing to do for these children...There are a lot of pupils who are quite severelly disabled physically in the school and all their faces are so lovely to see when they get their awards...I have told him not to worry he can hand back the reply on monday...Eldest lad is off school again <sigh> today...His hayfever was off the scale this morning although now he is fine GRRRR...Poor lad gets hayfever from march right through till sept...Grass pollen is a bad one and i dread to think what state he would be in if he was not on his antihistamines...

Last week i got a letter about the art school i went to many many eyars ago...This year they are celebrating the 120th anniversary of it's founding...During this years degree show they are having a special reception for all their alumini...It sounds very exciting NOT lol...We will get a glass of sparkling wine and a strawberry tart...erm WOW!!!...My lecturers really did not like me at all whilst i was there...they both would have rather not given me my degree but tough luck on them my dissertation was one of the best in my year <ggg> ...Funnily enough at the degree show both me and this other student they hated we were the only two who sold all our stuff...We were also the only two from our dept who were asked to submit items for an exhibition...Sadly at the time i couldn't as i had sold all the things i had made and as my dad was seriously ill in hospital at the time i didn't have the time nor the inclination to make any new pieces...I really don't know if to bother going to this reception...A glass of wine and a strawberry tart doesn't exactly entice me...Will think about it over the weekend and see how i feel...It may be a good laff on the other hand it may be as boring as anything...

I did go to a school reunion a couple of years ago at my old high school...It was alright but i haven't really kept in touch with anyone from school...Well not people from my year...My best friend at school was in the year above me and i do keep in touch with her down in london...One of my fellow pupils i really wanted to see again refused point blank to go the the reunion...I did find out that someone i was vaguely friends with at school her husband taught eldest lad when he was in 1st year...Another is friends with a member of my local aspergers support group...Having left home at 18 to move here to go to art school i did lose contact with almost everyone...The ones from my year who did go to college or university are now pretty widespread across the world...Amazing how we start to reminise when we get an invite like the one above...Anyway back to the mundane day to day things i have more washing to hang out...Toodle pip xx

Stuart is a STAR :o)

Stuart you are a STAR :o)  Thank you heaps with choccy sprinkles and strawbs on top...So now all you delightful people who read my journal and put up with my drivel can see what i vaguely look like <ggg> ...I take no responsibility for any shocks etc that people may suffer now they can see my face as it's not a pretty sight :o)

HELP!!!!

Okies am seriously none technical so got a question for yous :o)

HOW can i get a pic of me made small enough to fit into the box at side telling people stuff about me????

Just tried to add a pic in there of me and it was HUGE, well not so much huge as bloomin MASSIVE lololol...Any instructions on how to reduce size of the pic to reasonable proportions must be explained in numptie language thanks <ggg>

Jobsworths

Jobsworths don't you just hate them...You know the type stick ridgidly to the rules etc...Well i phoned the surgery this morning and got through at 8.28am...Now i know they don't open for taking appointments for that day until 8.30am but hey i was only 2 mins early and really needed the appointment...Well i got this snotty receptionist who told me to phone back in 5 mins when it was 8.30...I said excuse me but going by teletext it is now 8.29 and by the time we finish this call it will be past 8.30...She repeated phone back in 5 mins when it is 8.30 and i said sorry your clock is slow...Anyway she eventually hung up on me at 8.31am...Boy was i angry and immediately started redialling...Had my finger on the redial button for 15 mins <sigh> ...Got through HURRAH!!!!...Asked for appointment with specific GP got told yes there is one at 10.30 said i'll have it...Got told sorry it's just gone :o(  But they did have one at 10.40 so took it...So i came online to do some support group work to keep me awake and then left to get the bus round...Not fit to drive today...Now bearing in mind i left here at 10.10 i got there at 10.45 by time on my mobile phone LOL...GP isn't that far by bus just a lot of roadworks and every set of traffic lights being at red, typical when you are in a hurry...Got glowered at a bit by receptionist but i just smiled <ggg>...Well their clock was 5 mins slow LOL...

GP is in his own words 'PISSED OFF' with what has happened regarding the referral...He reads it as both an insult on my parenting skills and his judgement as a GP...This GP has know both boys since they were born...He knows the whole history over the years and quite frankly is in more of a position to pass judgement than stupid clinical psych who rejected the referral...He is angry because he sent the referral to child & family PSYCHIATRY not psychology...He fails to see how seeing youngest 4 times and me 3 times over a 9 month period is considerable psychology input...As we both said we would dread to think what a small amount of input would be...As my GP says i have been dealing with the ASD for 13 years with both boys...My parenting skills are not crap...What this woman said school use is what i use at home and the age he is at the techniques are going to begin to stop being so effective...Am not some new parent who doesn't have a clue in fact i probably know more than the psychologistdid...Oh and the reason he was referred to clinical psych before she didn't address that problem...Because in her words his autism would get in the way of methods she could use...It was also her who brought up the idea of medication (which she can't prescribe)...As for there being NO CHANGE in his presenting difficulties my GP reckons she also appears to want me hospitalised or worse...So now my GP is going to write again requesting a FULL PSYCHIATRIC assessment...For one thing he was diagnosed when he was 6 a lot has changed in him over the last 8 years...IF he does have some ADHD on top of the autism then we want to know properly and not just it being bandied about...Also there is a place he can go to for help with behaviour and get techniques that will suit his autism but we cannot go there without being referred by a psychiatrist...Are these people up there stupid...Can they not read...Why when you are a parent of a child with special needs do they call foul on your parenting skills but wouldn't dare if you were a parent of a so called "normal" child...Am i being over sensitive...Maybe a little but my GP doesn't think so...He happens to think i have done a bluddy good job with both my sons over the years...Am also one of the few parents i know in my position who are not on any medication themselves to help them cope ie: anit depressants etc...So am keeping the appointment i have with the GP on 18th July just in case i need it then...By then hopefully we will have heard back from psychiatry and if not i will need that appointment...If they refuse too then i will go down route of contacting local MSP and taking it from there...Got contacts there anyway and i WILL exploit them if the need arises <ggg> ...I will fight for anything i believe my children need and i know i have full backing from my GP...He is excellent and i have been told by other professionals that he is the best GP to see here if you have a child on the autistic spectrum...

Youngest has just got back home from school and today he had a swimming gala...His school won overall with 145 points :o) ...He himself won one of his races YIPPEE!!!!...So he's a happy bunny and am well chuffed for him...they didn't get medals at this one though so none to add to his collection LOL...

Oh whilst i was at GP i did ask if there was any viruses or bugs going round as i feel like i have been hit by a ten tonne truck...It's gastric flu...Luvely NOT lol...It isn't lasting long so tomorrow i should be on way to recovery...Just as i had began to get fitness up at the gym am gonna be back to square one LOL...Oh well i can still sit cross legged something i haven't been able to do for years due to knackered knees...Toodle pip xx

Monday

Managed to waken up long enough to get both boys ready for school and off to their respective taxi's...Spent from 8.25am 'till 9.05am trying to get through on phone to GP surgery and gave up...Went back to bed and slept until almost 2pm...Have spent most of today either in bed or on sofa bossing daughter about kinda...She's still not fully recovered but at least she could walk to the shop...Missed weightwatchers (daren't drive)...Eldest walked to footie training as not too far away and youngest didn't go...He has a swimming gala tomorrow and didn't want to risk any injuries before it...He did go to some rock concert as he put it with school...It is an health/drugs/alcohol awareness tour thing for young people with 2 minor pop groups playing at it...He was pleased to see these groups as he did know who they were LOL...Still nothing in post from his father <sigh> ...He's unhappy about it and also said he wished his dad phoned more often...Makes me sad but i can't do anythign about it :o(  The time difference for them to phone him is too great, he is 6 hours behind us and for them to phone him at a reasonable hour he would be at work...Then again he ONLY phones them from work unless it's Christmas day...Although as youngest's birthday was a saturday this year he had to phone from home...What a shame having to run up his bill phoning his son...For anyone that wants it there is a link on the left to shooting the Crazy Frog <ggg>...Well am offski to bed even though i have spent most of today in bed...Toodle pip xx

sunday

Eldest lad is better and going back to school tomorrow :o) ...Daughter feels like crap and seems to be at stage eldest lad was on fri...Guess who's comign down with whatever this is now <sigh> ...I know who own't get it...YOUNGEST...The lucky thing hardly ever gets anything going around...He seems to have the constition of an ox...Am still phoning in morning to get appointment with GP about the referral fiasco...He can tell me whilst am there what this virus or whatever tis is LOL...We've all just lazed about today much to youngest's disgust...I was meant to take him shopping to spend his birhday money...Promised i will take him out during the week when am able to walk...Just now my legs feel like lumps of lead, eyes feel weird therefore can't drive...I haven't been sick like the other two though...Feels strange not felt like this without having proper flu and this is not flu...Anyways going to go and shoot more frogs <ggg> Youngest did really really enjoy the concert and has even written about it in his school diary :o) Toodle pip xx

no voice

Got no voice after the gig LOL...Was shocked he was actually quite good...Youngest loved it although he didn't like the support...I liked the 2nd support band they were a rock group...I do like my rock music...Anyways got no voice cos youngest made me sing along...Refused to sing to crappy westlife song though <shudder> ...His latest single 'demons' is brilliant live, even if it didn't get very high in the charts which i think is a damn shame considering that frog thing is at No1 <more shudders> ...He did an absolutely cracking version of Mustang Sally...Then again he is irish nuff said LOL...He seemed impressed with the venue said it reminded him of an edwardian house or something LOL...Dunno if it's that old but it is a bit ornate...Anyways gonna go shoot some more of that crazy frog <ggg> ...Found a game where you can do that :o) ...Toodle pip xx

more moans LOL

Got a call from school GP yesterday in response to my call to school...she thought it had been that day but i said no was on thurs...Asked for a copy of her referal and she said no problem :o) ...She thought i had been sent a copy of the letter she got told her no my GP had sent a copy to me of the response he got back...Apparently a copy of the letter she got has been sent to GP!!!...Want to know where mine is after all am only the parent here <sigh> ...Usually these letters get copied to the professionals involved, medical records AND the parent...Turns out they wrote to her on 4th may and my GP only got a reply to his referal on 18th may!!!...Told school GP how pissed off i am...She said she had asked his teacher if there was any problems at school and got told not really!!!...Hmmmmm wonder why school keep phoning me saying X,Y,Z has happened and could you tell us how to deal with it...School GP had said in her referal that there had been incidents at respite...School GP is now going to talk to the new psychiatrist at the hospital who has a specific interest in special needs later next week...She did say that getting medication prescribed could be a no go as they only see that as a very last resort...I said so do i and i only want a psychiatrist to see him in case we do need to go down the last resort path DUH...She also asked me as i have 2 on the spectrum had i ever considered having genetics tested out...Now both boys went to same assessment centre and to the special needs nursery school they have there...They were both tested for fragile X etc as a matter of routine and everything came back as normal...I did say i have never been asked and that did surprise me BUT there would be no point...What is the point in testing the genetics from one side of the family only!!!...My ex lives in america and even if he did live in the UK he would refuse point blank...He does not like people 'messing with his head'...He did not like people 'messing with his childrens heads'...I also told school GP that none of my nieces and nephews on my side of the family have any special needs...I have 42 first cousins and none of them nor their children have any autistic spectrum disorders...However on their fathers side of the family they only have 2 cousins...One has dyslexia inherited from his dad, the other has it too but not been tested yet...BUT the older one has dyspraxia...The younger one his school keep saying he is unique and they have never come across a child like him before...Well i know i am not qualified to do a diagnosis BUT i have come across a child like him before...I LIVE with 2 of them...I know my ex's family will refuse to cooperate with any genetic testing <sigh> ...A friend i spoke to her son goes to an independant special needs school...He gets all different kinds of therapies there...She told me to ask own GP about having youngest refered there for the counselling therapy they do for behaviour...He doesn't have to attend that school you can access some of the therapies without having to be a pupil...Friend and me have same GP and she said to tell him who mentioned it...I do have an appointment for GP but it's 18th july!!!!...Will be phoning on mon for a cancellation...School GP is going to phone my one too...Hope i can get in see him before she talks to him...After all our GP has known both boys since they were born...He knows more about our family than school GP who only known him for a year n half...

Daughter is not well and hardly sleeping...Eldest lad been unwell since thurs evening and still has a temperature...I have to go out tonight so hope they both going to be okies...Tonight is the Brian McFadden concert that am taking youngest to see...Weather is dry at mo and fingers crossed is still dry later as we are going to have to queue to get decent seats...He hates queuing but he can listen to his music on MP3 player...Oh and music is beginning to work again on keeping him calm :o) ...Oh and that was something school used not me!!!!...Now that's a laff n half i've been using music as a tool for controlling his autism since he was diagnosed EIGHT years ago duh!!!...Anyways must go have a bath soon and get ready for the concert...Toodle pip xx

 

Cheesed off :o(

Well am now back to where i started when i started doing this journal...I started the journal so i could keep a record of what was going on with youngest with regards to referal and what was going on at home, school and respite...Take note all THREE places...As anyone who has been reading the journal for a while will know i got my own GP to refer youngest back in april...Got a letter from my GP today and am now mega angry, pissed off, upset and lots of cossable words...Am so angry i actually swore on phone to my mum and i NEVER swear in front of her...She doesn't approve but she let me off today as she understood why...Child & family mental health have TURNED down the referal from the GP :o( 

Reasons being:

a) They also had a referal from school GP....I now want a copy of that referal and i want to know what was said...If school GP says NO then i will demand it under Freedom of Information Act

b) I have had a considerable amount of clinical psychology input in the past...Eldest son had when he was under 5 and was also seen to be reassessed in oct 2002 for Record of Needs being opened...Daughter was along a few years back due to being refered on from another counsellor due to the problems she had when her father walked out (she became suicidal )...Youngest had some input from nov 2003 until aug 2004...At which time his file was meant to be kept open for another 6 months but was closed on 1st sept 2004...I know am crap at maths but i know aug till sept is 1 month not 6 <sigh>

c) The clinical psychologist he saw previously has now decided his problems are due to his home enviroment and she agrees with school GP that respite would be more appropriate...So basically she is saying am a shite mother and there are no problems elsewhere...She says there are none at school and school have coping strategies in palce which i refuse to implement at home...CRAP...He gets time out at home, i use music to calm him down and it has ALWAYS worked in the past up until late jan this year...the strategies used at school are ones i SUGGESTED because i use them at home...Only last week at parents night i got asked if i had any ideas for them to use on incidents that are happening at school and have started happening RECENTLY...I want to see school GP referal letter as i want to know exactly what she put in it with regards to respite...Yes i would love more respite but it doesn;t grow on trees...I talked about what was going on with the school GP and she agreed that he needed seen and urgently...

d) As there has been NO change in youngests presenting difficulties and i have difficulty in engaging their type of approach then they have refused the referal...Well excuse me for thinking that him punching me in the throat was not a significant change...Maybe next time i will have my daughter phone NHS24 and get someone out to see me as she cannot drive and obviously i wouldn't be fit to take myself up to A&E...Forgive me also for thinking that picking up a coffee table and throwing it at one of the workers at respite was not a significant change either (she had to go get her arm x-rayed in A&E)...Forgive me please for wanting help for my son before the police have to be involved and he ends up in prison when he is older :o(

At the end of the letter it does say please do not hesitate to get back in touch if we want this discussed further...Well too right they will be contacted...I did NOT want him going back to see the clinical psychologist he saw last year anyway...She was useless and to me showed no understanding of autism at all...some of the strategies she wanted to use he did not understand and are entirely unsuitable for someone with autism...He will say YES to anythign he's asked if not worded in a manner he can fully comprehend...IF i do not get any satisfaction then i will go higher and there will be formal complaints going in...It is a long time since anyone in some postition of authority has turned round and basically called my parenting skills crap and it hurts...I know am not but for someone to think that really does upset me...There has been a big change in his behaviour since january and neither me, respite nor school can work out what the trigger has been...Every time in the past the trigger has been spotted and then it has been dealt with as we knew why...I do wonder if clinical psych would sit up and take notice if i was actually dead as a result of youngest's actions :o(  ...Maybe i should write a letter to be kept somewhere safe advising my family to sue them in the event of that possibility...I know it's possible because hey being punched right in the throat or strangled could result in that...Back in april when he did that i could barely breathe for quite a while and was left with a sore throat for days after...Anyways it is late am angry and i should go get some sleep...Am at GP's tomorrow for smear <yuk> so will take letter and beg them to fit me in an appointment on mon or tues...Am waiting on school to phone back too...Toodle pip xx