Stressed to bits but hey de ho thats life

Never having really kept a diary before i finally have taken the plunge and started this so bear with me LOL.  Everyone has those times when life seems to be looking brighter then it all crashes down round about you.  Just had one of those times.  After getting a break from the darlings for first time in 3 n half years (and very much needed) just been hit with that huge sledgehammer again knocking me back to reality that is autism.  As you can see on the left both my boys have special needs.  Eldest lad is aspergers and youngest autistic.  Would like to state for the record autistic spectrum disorder is NOT a life sentence but it can be tough going on the family at times.  Youngest i moved to a different sen school in aug 2003 and he improved leaps and bounds and came on so much was amazing.  Ok had the odd bleep as you do in that time but on the whole was vast improvement.  In last 3 weeks things have slid backwards again :(  He's had some altercations at school and tired to run out of school.  School dealt with it and phoned to warn me he'd had a bad day so would more than likely be in a mood when he got off his taxi.  Last weekend he went to day respite and got in such a tizz he ended up picking up a small table and chucking it at one of the workers.  At home he banged a door open so hard he's broken one of the glass panes.  He also refused to get put under so his teeth could be attended to at hospital.  No-one knows what is troubling him deep down as the most insignificant tiny thing is setting him off on one.  So now am waiting to have him seen by psychiatry with hope in getting some kind of medication given to him.  He can be the loveliest most polite, caring and wonderful lad and at click of a finger turn into the demon from hell.  Upside is he is going to make a card for the worker he hit and apoligise.  I decided to start writing everything down in a journal as i have always regreted not writing anything down in the past as i could more than likely have written a book about my experiences over the last 13 years with both boys.  Just now i do think it could be hormones kicking in as they do with most teenagers.  Autism and hormones just don't seem to mix.  They are confused enough without adding teen hormones into the equation LOL.  In saying that eldest lad doesn't seem to be having any visible problems with the good old hormones.  Says she tempting fate <ggg>  My break away did me the power of good and also made daughter feel important as she brother sat LOL.  The little toerags behaved impeccably for her.  TYPICAL lol.  Now i know they will be fine for her and she is capable i have to make the most of it before she goes away to uni in sept.  She doesn't want to stay at home to do this and i am both happy and worried at her moving away from home.  Happy as i want her to be able to go out and make a life for herself away from the trials and tribulations of what she has grown up coping with.  Worried cos am MUM and well it comes with the job doesn't it <ggg>  But i am an extremely proud mum as so far she has been accepted at 2 different uni's and waiting to hear back from 3 others.  Anyway think this is enough of a start as i have to go offski and play chauffeur again and maybe go for a swim whilst the boys are at club.  Ttfn x