Bit stressed

Well i left it as late as possible to get youngest up to go to hospital for the dentist...We had to be there for 9.15am so i got him up at 8.45am...We only live about 5 mins drive from it so we were there in plenty time...Luckily we also got one of the disabled parking bays directly below the building we had to go into :o) ...I really thought he was going to refuse point blank and not get the treatment done yet again...This time he got more of a pre med and they left him ages to get woozy...He still became wide awake alert when taken into the dental suite...Took one look at the machinery and started shouting NO...For shouting read screaming actually...As he had been wheeled through on a bed this time complete with padded sides up then it was easier to keep him held down...I so hate having to do that :o(  Makes me feel so bad having to hold him down and restrain him just to get some fillings and a tooth out...There was 2 nurses helping though and it wasn't his usual dentist...Might be a blessing in disguise that as he won't now see his dentist as being one of the evil people who tortured him...Anyway he got knocked out and i got told to come back in an hour...So i went had some brekkie in hospital cafe and sat outside reading a magazine as it is such a gorgeous and warm day here today :o) ...Coming round from the anaesthetic wasn't pleasant...Being autistic he can't cope with the disorientation...He was screaming and moaning so much they eventually decided to let him sit on a chair...Not long after they let me take him home even though technically he wasn't ready for it yet...They only let me do it as i was parked so close and lived so nearby...Plus i think they were a bit fed up of being called evil and torturers ROFL...I had to get his bro and sis down to help him get upstairs as was no parking near our flat...Took me 15 mins to get a parking space...When i eventually got in he was sound asleep in bed :o)

I hate trying to park where i live...My street is short and narrow...The main street it is off they took away tons of parking by chucking down double yellow lines for what reason no-one knows...I have tried to get a disabled parking space but i keep getting turned down...Get told can't have one as not in a wheelchair, have heart condition or amputee...It really annoys me as i know other families with autistic children who have been given one...My previous named social worker was going to harass them into giving me one but then he got a new job <sigh>...I've told them till am blue in the face that youngest maybe isn't any of the above, he may be a teenager BUT his road awareness skills are those of a toddler...I need to be able to park close to my flat because of his autism and they don't listen...Also i seem to be the only one around here that gets a parking ticket stuck on my car if am parked on double yellows with a blue badge...Ok i never have to pay the fine but i shouldn't be getting given a ticket in first place...I don't park on double yellows if it's a bus stop or right beside the junction...I park far enough from junction for another 2 cars to get behind me...Goodness only knows why the double yellows are so big in first place duh!!!...I have spoken to some of the parking wardens (maroon meanies) and queried it and been assured i shouldn't be getting one unless i am close to junction or on the bus stop on main street...I must keep getting the jobsworth LOL...

Well need to hang out more washing as it's a glorious sunny WARM day...The kind where a vest top and shorts could be worn although in my case shorts are a definite no no LOL...Toodle pip for now xx

Hmmmm

Eldest lad decided he'd been a wee bit sick just before his taxi was due...He did look a tad pale but he had to go down and tell them he wasn't well as i was indisposed when taxi arrived...He went back to bed and actually fell asleep LOL...Got text from best friend asking if i wanted to meet her in town so i said i would after all daughter was at home to look after eldest son...Wish i hadn't gone now LOL...Apparently we are going for a girls night out next weekend HURRAH!!! i don't get out often...So best friend made me buy some new clothes...More precisely best friend (hmmmm) made me buy 2 SKIRTS!!!!...I do NOT do skirts...You see best friend is girly, well not girly girly but more girly than me...Am more of a tomboy even at the age i am now...I love my trousers, jeans, scruffy tops, though i will confess to liking high heels...Love my footie, rugby, F1, motoGP and most blokey sports...So you see i can't possibly wear a SKIRT...Thought ok will just buy them to keep bet friend happy...Got home and grrrrrrrr at daughter...Told her best friend had made me buy not just 1 but 2 SKIRTS...Daughter was mega pleased and said good...So now am stuck with 2 skirts that i now need to buy tops to wear with them...

Youngest school had phoned whilst i was out but i wasn't back home in time to phone back...Asked youngest but he's refusing to say what happened <sigh>...Tomorrow is in service day...Now why do teachers need these now...They didn't happen when i was at school...I wouldn't mind if any of the schools my eldest had been at had taken the opportunity to get someone to go in on in service day to teach them about disabilities (specifically autism in his case) but they didn't...The good thing about tomorrow being in service day is youngest doesn't need to miss a day off school to go to hospital for dentist...Because of his autism he won't let dentist do any fillings or treatment...He will let dentist check his teeth but that is all...So when he needs any fillings he goes to hospital to get knocked out and get any treatment done whilst he is under...In february they tried to do it but he refused point blank to be knocked out :o( ...Luckily he didn't lash out physically just verbally...Tomorrow they will leave the pre med longer to take effect so that he is almost asleep by time he gets the injection, we daren't try the mask, and there will be less people in the theatre surrounding him...Lasttime there was the dentist, anaesthetist, and 5 nurses and me...I don't see why they had to have FIVE nurses there at the time!!!!...The dentist said there was too many people surrounding him as did i but we both got ignored <sigh>...Two of the nurses were trainees...So fingers crossed tomorrow they have the dentist, anaesthetist, ONE nurse and me until he is asleep then they can have as many as they want...That's if we manage to get that far...I have told him if he lets them do what they need to and he behaves then he can have a reward...I know it's bribery but sometimes i need to resort to it much though i don't want to and it doesn't always work...

I do like these colours even though the yellow isn't easy to read on the header...Anyways off to see what i can eat for tea and mutter some more about skirts <shudder> Toodle pip xx

playing again LOL

Hmmmm cousin walter colours would they be Scotland colours then???  See changed to navy with touch of gold :o) Actually i like this may just keep it...Must remember to see when next home weekend match is to phone get tickets as get them free...My fave word FREE <g> Let me know if i guessed correctly :o) Toodle pip xx

WOOHOO!!!!

WOOHOO!!!! earlier today i was jumping up and down like a demented elephant LOL...Was in shop when youngest came home from school and when i got back in he said he had news for me...Though uh oh what now, as you do, LOL...He said it's good news and he had a HUGE smile on his face...He's only gone and passed SQA access 2 in his french :o)  Well i started jumping up and down and hugging him and screaming with delight...Thought sod the neighbours <G>...Explanation for those who aren't living in Scotland (the best country ever <G>)...SQA is scottish qualifications authority...Standard grades are equivalent to GCSE's, Highers are equivalent to A levels...I had never heard of the access level before youngest started some this school year...Access is below level below standard grade...There are diferent gradings within access and am not entirely sure how they work but i presume similar to standard grade in that 1 is highest level...With access level they don't sit an actual exam but are continually accessed throughout the year...At youngest review back in march i got told he wouldn't actually be graded this year because he was too young...But at parents night back in nov the french teacher had said if he was going to be 14 before end of may then he would...Well he is and he has been and he's PASSED :o) ...Oh am so chuffed to bits for him i really am...This is a child who had previous SEN school got kept on same maths book for almost 3 years...NEVER got allowed to use the intelligence he quite obviously had...Old school started having problems with him and i kept saying to them he is BORED...You know am so pleased for him i could dance a jig naked round the block ROFL...Now that WOULD defo scare the neighbours...

Sorted my problem i had last night thanks to a very nice man :o) So cheers Stuart...The colour scheme was NOT tory colours though thank you very much TUTS...I never have and never will vote tory...It was LILAC...Might change to the patriotic ones as they are gers colours <G> Hmmmm rangers blue & white with a hint of red sounds nice to me...

Yesterday met a pal in town for a coffee and ended up shopping YUK...She persuaded me to try find sandals i had seen on telly but it was her who ended up with new stuff and me with nowt LOL...Do need to go shopping withdaughter for either a gold/beige evening bag or silver posh, dressy stilettoes...She has posh gold/beige stilletoes and a silver bag we just need the opposite go with whichever she likes best...Or as i said whichever is cheapest <G>...All her jewellery is silver so silver shoes seem better option...Yesterday evening she spent the whole night writing out and illustrating sayings she had found online...Will leave you with the one i thought was very apt and something we should all do...

Count your RAINBOWS  not your thunderstorms

Toodle pip xx

playing LOL

As you may have noticed i've been playing with colours and layout...Not entirely sure if am happy with it yet though...Also find it a bit strange that not just my journal but other ones i read have seemed to grow at some point this evening...As in writing has become huge LOL...Checked settings on AOL and on actual PC and everything is as it should be so no idea...If still same in morning i better check with someone far more technical than me as to what is wrong with it all...More than likely it will be something simple a bit like me <G> ...Do wish they did a better range of colours or didn't mix green in with the purple (grape option)...Don't do green ever it goes against the grain as a rangers fan...Not that i am bigoted in the slightest just don't like green :o) Think i might just play around some more tomorrow...Toodle pip xx

hey ho

Spent sunday doing nowt lol...Had tummy ache back and just wanted to laze on sofa watching san marino grand prix...Friend phoned just before start to see if i would come downstairs see her new car...Nice car she has now via motability so she can take her mum out as well as her son...She ordered me back indoors to lie down LOL...So lazed on sofa watching the F1...Was so pleased when alonso held off schumacher :o) ...Later decided to take youngest out to try get CD he wanted...Guess what woolies didn't have it in stock and neither did small virgin shop...He said for me to try get it today as he didn't want to walk anywhere else to get it...We did get him much needed new suede trainers...Left old ones in bin at shop as not only way too small but falling apart...It's taken me 2 months to manage to get him near a shop to get new ones...Did try buying a pair without him being there but he didn't like them, said they hurt his feet even though he had plenty room, so had to take them back...It's damn hard getting non lace up shoes/trainers for males unless they happend to be toddlers...Neither of the boys can do laces and refuse point blank to wear anything that needs lacing up...Anyway he not only got new *cool* trainers but ended up with a new hoodie style jacket without hood LOL...

Today i managed to get the brian mcfadden CD he wanted so much HURRAH!!!...Thank goodness for headphones is all i will say <G> Was such a nice day here i even got washing hung out and dried...Bets it rains tomorrow LOL...Daughter said head of youngest school had phoned whilst i was out at asda and in town getting the CD...Head said that letter had now been sent...HAHAHAHA!!!! Bit LATE as own GP already done that...Not head of schools fault though so better not get angry with her...Not done anything today either so now have flat like a bombsite, ironing again like mini alpine range and i so can't be bothered...Really must get my act together again and do something about all the mess...Boys had footie training and were in different teams and both teams won so great no arguments etc on way home...Went to WW and only lost half a pound...Mind you i really couldn't be bothered much with diet last week so own fault...Will defo get back on track good & proper this week and behave...Toodle pip xx

Feeling rather silly

Feel a bit daft and sheepish today...Yesterday went to support group meeting...There was only 3 of us there to start with then 2 latecomers...One new parent and we made her very welcome...We'd been discussing a few things and then i kinda cracked up a bit duh!!!...I NEVER crack up like i did yesterday in front of people...Felt especially bad as new parent there and she must now think am some kind of raving mad woman...Did try to assure her am not...One member has known me ever since eldest lad was diagnosed and she's never seen me like yesterday...That member works for carers centre and is now handing my name and details to a local group that give support and help to parents who are not getting the services they NEED...Also now have name of highest up person for social work within council <g> ...If head of disabilities team still says am not a high priority for getting new named social worker then official complaint will be going to the highest up boss...I know there is a lack of sw's on the team...Am not disputing that...I know parents with newly diagnosed children need help soon as possible...BUT mine are now coming to an age where they will be in transition between child & adult services...I know i can talk to a backup worker but that is frustrating to say the least...Here's the scenario:~

Me: Have a problem requiring social work so give them a call

Receptionist: Do you have a named worker and which team do you need

Me: No not since last june and it is the disabilities team

Receptionist: I'll put you on hold and see if backup worker is available

Me: twiddles thumbs thinking here we go again

Receptionist: Just putting your call through now

Backup:  Hello can you give me your details and what is the problem

Me: Give my boys names, mine, address etc and then say the problem

Backup:  Ok i have details on computer now could you give me background on X so i can see how i can help

Me: Now have to tell whole history of last 12 years in a sort of nutshell

Backup:  Might be better if someone comes out to see you or you come into the office.

Basically i am fed up of having to go through history of the boys before can even get onto whatever my current problem is...Last backup worker i had out for a visit (after weeks waiting) was good but would only discuss eldest future needs review...It would be much easier having a named worker and just the one voice/face to deal with...I need help with things for both boys and this seems to be a big deal for them...They will discuss one but not the other!!!...Sorry but am parent to 2 special needs teenage boys...IT is easier for me to discuss their needs with ONE person and not a succession of faces...Their care package is unaffected by this (thank goodness) except for playscheme...The funding for that is still reviewed yearly...Wonder if anyone remembers that...Doubt it...Other parents cannot understand why i am not a high priority for being allocated a named worker as soon as one is available...Hmmmm single parent, no family living close by, 2 special needs children, 1 in desperate need of help with complex issues...Description makes us sound rather bad which we aren't...Well we weren't when i did have named workers...I just wonder what does this idiot head of team think a high priority case is...He has no experience in the field he is head of...I met him once and come across as some kind of wimpy, wishy washy person mouthing words he didn't mean...If i had a named worker then i would be able to say what our needs are at current time in time allocated for a visit...As i don't then i don't have enough time to say what is needed...Am fed up of it all and angry and probs this why i cracked up and spent yesterday in tears...

Met best friend after meeting...Haven't seen her for over a week and she needs my help...She won't say that like but she does...So we went for a coffee and sandwich and had a good old blether...Gave her advise she needs and will always be around to support her...Especially with what is about to happen...she's always very supportive to me...not lacking in support and shoulders to cry on it is professional support i am currently lacking for first time ever (cept for own GP and schools)

Decided last night sod it going to have a drink...Lucky i don't get hangovers as drank an awful lot of vodka LOL...Feel so much better today...Still will email new parent and apologise as don't like impression i gave...Am always the one who is seen as a very strong person, offering advice, shoulder to cry on etc...Conclusion being i guess we can all be very vulnerable at times...

Today just spent chillin in morning...Took eldest lad to fun club, youngest wanted to stay at home watching sky...Daughter was in so that was ok...As youngest has been on best behaviour all week i told him he can have a reward...started doing this to try get behaviour under control LOL...Unfortunately sainsburys didn't have the CD he wanted...So tomorrow we will have to go into town to buy it...He has also decided he thinks he may be able to stand for gig by Brian Mcfadden locally...Seated is sold out as venue is mainly standing only...He loves new single and fortunately so do i...Never though would say that i really dislike westlife...Am in 2 minds if to get tickets or not...New single is called Demons...Now instead of jekyll & hyde i think angel & demon is better description of youngest...

Quickly before i go found another reason need named SW...Found a place that does respite holiday breaks...Need referal from social worker LOL...See how can someone do a referal unless they know the family...Sounds nice place as they take care of the special needs members whilst the other family members go out and do own thing and have a rest...Must remember apply for holiday grant (still not done it)...Anyways am less stressed today just sheepish and embrassed...Toodle pip xx