I am alive and am still reading everyone elses journals...Am not commenting much though, sorry...Been neglectful here because a) i've been too busy and b) i have felt like crap since last wed...I finally had my appointment at the gynae out patients...Well i won't go into gory details but they decided to do some tests on me there and then...Now they didn't tell me what the procedure was called but after seeing someone mention a specific procedure on a message board i googled it...Low and behold sounds like what i had done...And it can leave you feeling like you're having a mega bad time of the month for several weeks after...You're supposed to have done X,Y and Z before having the procedure...And you're supposed to do X, Y and Z after...Oh and depending on why you're getting it done you can be given a general or local anaesthetic to have it...But some places don't give anaesthetic at all...I had sod all anaesthetic and it didn't feel that bad...I was ultra sounded which was cool as i could see the screen...No fibroids or nasties about...The other procedure was basically a camera you know where and they tried to do a biopsy as well...As you're supposed to have anaesthetic then i can now see why there was a nurse stood beside me...Stroking my shoulders, telling me what a good girl i was being...Treating me like i was 2 ROFL...I wasn't embarassed...After you've given birth and you've had as many people watch you give birth as i had with 2 of mine then your dignity goes out the window...Anyways they couldn't get the camera where they wanted and they couldn't get the biopsy either...That's because of a procedure i had done 12 years ago...And the doctor did say it might not be possible but they'd give it a go if i didn't mind...I do wish i had say no now as i have had mega headaches, tummy ache, backache, lower abdomen ache...The whole shebang, which is why i was there in the first place grrrr...Am being put on some pill or other the name of which i can't remember and couldn't pronounce regardless...Six months is longest i can stay on it...They won't operate because i am too overweight...Am overweight again because my 'womens troubles' have made me gain weight <sigh> ...Even if the weight naffs off i can't have an op because no-one to look after the boys...Mind you 6 months of this medication and then need to give it a few months to see if it has worked...So it could be a year or year n half down the line before an op...By which time hopefully i could possibly leave them overnight and just get help in for them at tea time and someone phone to make sure they are up and out for college/uni...The way M is coming on just now that may be possible...He has come on about 5 years worth of development in space of 6-8 months...Of course he may stick again for yonks but am hoping not.
There are so many lately who have said to me that how M is and how G is is such an inspiration to them and gives them hope that their kids will do the same...But i need someone further up the chain than me to give me that hope and inspiration...Must say i do feel at times i can now have a life back for ME...That i can start to do things again that are for me and not always about them and having to revolve everything around them...On wed i was at a conference about how our local authority wants to change how care is provided here...I wasn't the only one who got a bit narked off that they seem to be concentrating on and considering old people only...No disrespect to elderly but what about the kids, what about the young adults and what about those of ANY age who have certain illnesses or conditions...Basically as our council is broke they want to concentrate on provision for those who are considered HIGH level of need...But how do you define HIGH level with some conditions...G is deemed on paper to be MORE ABLE than M...Purely because he is more able academically...But G has more problems socially and with everyday stuff than M does...And with those who are kids/young adults the defintions of what they need always comes down to academic ability...There was a woman at the table i was sat at who has been given NAFF ALL information or help...Her husband has parkinsons and she has given up work to care for him...She has health problems of her own...She can't get her knee replacement op done because she can't get care for her hubby...YET our council want MORE care to be done in the home...To cut respite care, to cut back on paid help...So they want even more put on the shoulders of the families...Doesn't matter if we fall ill, doesn't matter if we can't cope, doesn't matter if there are siblings involved who miss out on a childhood...Oh and Young Carers weren't mentioned AT ALL...I made sure they were in the workshops...I suggested as well that a generic information pack is produced...So that when someone is diagnosed with A, B or C illness or disability they can be given an information pack...Which would include stuff like info on benefits like DLA, Carers Allowance, contact numbers for support groups (local and national), carers centre numbers, information on suitable education if it is a child, info on occupational therapy, speech therapy etc etc etc...Because most of the time you are told ok so and so has this condition here's some medication and we'll see you again in X amount of weeks...Usually you find the info you really need from other carers...The Carers Centre is a mine of info but unless you are told it exists then you don't know how they can help and advise you...Like just now i KNOW from reading info online that G will be entitled to up to £24,000 a year for support at uni...BUT i had to a) find that out for myself and b) i have no idea who funds it...I know who in Scotland funds the Disabled Student Grant which is for equipment needed to enable him to do his course but that is seperate to the support...I will be phoning and asking the Disability officer at the univeristy he is applying to...But info like that could go in a generic pack...K didn't know who to talk to as such when she fell ill...I told her to go along to disability advice at uni...That poor woman who no-one was helping didn't know about Carers Allowance...She can't get a social worker and there housing is unsuitable for them...She has been struggling to get help and info on that...Passed from pillar to post...And they want the families to take on MORE responsibility!!!!! If the families got given ALL relevant information at the outset then maybe they wouldn't end up all in a muddle just chugging alonf TRYING to cope...Even stuff like cinema pass where a carer gets in free, places that do discounts...Last week i was speaking to another mum at M's school and her lad loves footie and goes to watch the local premier league team...She didn't know that they do free entry for disabled...She'd spent a fortune on a season ticket pass for him and for someone else to go with him...Now that may all sound like i want everything for free or on the cheap...I don't but as most who have a disability or a long term illness end up on a very tight budget then as tesco says every little helps...Her lad can't go if the other season ticket holder is ill or unable to go along...With the disabled pass you can do is a season ticket book and it's in the disabled persons name and another season ticket pass is given which is for one person to accompany them...So if your regular carer is ill or away or unable to go to a match then you can have someone else take you...I know the council want to start charging for some services that previously were free and i don't have a problem as such with that...But they should means test it...And if you don't have other family living near you what then if the family member who is near you is unable to look after you...They say they can't get paid care workers because it is mainly a minimum wage job...Well family members who are carers don't even get minimum wage...IF they are earning less than £84 a week, are caring for disabled/ill person for a minimum of 35 hours per week, and the person they care caring for is on Middle or High rate care of DLA, THEN they can get Carers Allowance...Which is a princely sum of £46 a week...It was introduced by the prior Tory government to replace the average take home weekly wage...It's not gone up much at all over the years...Ok so you can get Income Support...But IF you got given a reasonable amount in Carers Allowance, which is taxable income, then you wouldn't need to be on other benefits...Also paid care workers aren't allowed to do X, Y and Z because of health & safety...But family members who are carers they don't matter...Paid care workers get trained in the likes of safe restraining techniques, how to change colostomy bags and such like...Family members who are carers DON'T...When i was at my wits end and asked where i could go on a course to learn restraining techniques to help me with M i was told i couldn't because am his mum!!!!!...Reason being if i used them and they went wrong i could end up suing those who trained me...So i was left struggling, trying to restrain a strapping lad with the strength of a strong man, getting beaten up...But that's ok cos am just his mum...I didn't want him medicated but i began to ask about it as i was desperate...But the psych at hospital didn't want him medicated either...Luckily he has stopped being so violent in this last year...I'd already looked at what he ate and drank...He's actually now identifying some foodstuffs and drinks that affect him...Not many but he has stopped himself from having those that do make his head feel 'fuzzed up' and make him feel 'angry'...Not the usual suspects either...I really don't mind as such if am told ok you need to care more at home yourself...But when they implement this they better put in place at least some respite, give us essential training, give us all the information we need...Give family members who are carers the same health & safety and politically correct considerations that are given to paid care workers...Just because you're family doesn't mean you should be treated as a dumping ground, 3rd class citizens and oh they will do ti anyway because they're family...And for crying out loud do take into consideration Young Carers and siblings and let them have a bluddy childhood.
Erm apologies for that wee rant...I did get rather vocal on wednesday LOL...That is a smidgen of what i said in the workshops LOL...I also made sure that woman got given the number of the Carers centre near her by hijacking the woman from our Carers centre who organised wed conference...So her and her husband can get advice on any benefits they are entitled to and essential support...I HATE seeing people left high and dry like that...I was lucky when G was diagnosed a friend gave me loads of info and so did my ex mother in law.
Anyways who is ready for Christmas cos am NOT...I haven't even looked out the decorations yet, i haven't made my presents that i NEED to make, i haven't bought all the ones i need to buy, food HAHAHA....Oh and i still need to make my cards LOL...I don't send out many and they WILL get made this weekend...I have got G's main pressie which is a new mobile phone...That's caused a right stooshie on the politics message board ROFL...He got a mobile for his 13th birthday because K got one for hers...So the boys said we get a mobile when we are 13...And he's not had another one since...I got the LG chocolate one...Phones4u had it down to £50 :o) It's easy to navigate, cool looking, has all the claptrap on it that he won't use (camera, Mp3 player etc) and basically isn't a fossil as he calls his old one...Unlike most teens he's happy as long as he can phone or text and even then not that often...I had to buy it with a tenner top up...So it was £60 in total but the tenner won't go on until boxing day...Is it so wrong to spend £60 (including airtime) on a phone for a 17 year old????? He's not the only one of his friends who has an old phone and isn't fussed about using one much...According to some on that board it will make him a target for muggers and he should have stuck with the one he had...I mean he's SEVENTEEN, he's not some old fogey like me...He's allowed to be slightly trendy LOL...M i hadn't a clue what to get (he got my old phone) but he came on tuesday moaning that his MP3 player is falling apart...So he's getting a new one...As he uses the thing almost daily then am shocked it lasted a year n half...Previous one lasted a year...Not sure if to go for an I-pod or not...Thing is i feel you're paying for the name with them more than anything...But i want one that's maybe a bit more robust this time...Then again he uses them so much more robust probs won't make a blind bit of difference...K well she reads this so am staying schtum apart from to say i did tell her i'd take her clothes shopping...Primark doesn't exist in Edinburgh and she likes Primark...And she knows that bit already so no harm in mentioning it...The boys have a party tomorrow afternoon, pantomime on tues evening both with the fun club...I want Johnny Depp for christmas so if anyone is contact with him please prise him away from his other half for me LOLOL
Erm how can i add images from my file manager now???? It does still exist but how can we get pics from it onto our journals like we used to???? All my xmassypics and tags are in it <sobs>
